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July 13th, 2013

10:24 am - Thoughts of Doctor Who. Posted from FB
So, Empire (Live roleplay) meet up today, preparing for it by watching Dr Who ( not sure that's valid, or that I need an excuse)
I does remind me of a curious thing, something unique to Doctor 11.

When the news hit of Matt Smith leaving, I was genuinely gutted that there were only 2 more Doctor 11 episodes. And this is the first time that the prospect of a new Doctor makes me sad.
When younger it was all exciting and the stuff of playground discussions . With 9 and 10 it was anticpation of who would they get, and largely,  was it Patterson Joseph, and if not, why not?

Now I find myself pre-emptively missing the 11th.
And i think that is because "He is my Doctor", as people often say when they have a favourite.

But that favourite is moreoften their first Doctor, or one they watch at a certain age. As a 4 decader I did not expect to find "my Doctor" with the 11th.

I think it's the mix of old and new, ancient in a youth's form, wise and childish and silly and more quiet moments.

So when we go in November to London for the celebration with Bakers T and C and McCoy the brown, there will also be my Doctor, the only one who made me sad that his run was over.

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November 3rd, 2012

12:35 am - nont nanowrimo but still some writing
Work is hella busy, and is going to get worse, so no novel writing for me
but to try and get some writing done  her e is a first draft, no editing short piece looking at how childhood and adult fears can sometimes collide

The sound of scratching at a bedroom window is not supposed to wake you at night. Especially so when the window is the one in your 8 year old son’s room, and you are warm in your bed, but now, suddenly wide awake, and beginning to chill.

You know there are a dozen explanations as to what it is , but your mind is immediately filled with pale faced children suspended outside a window scratching to get in, wolfish grins, yellow hungry eyes.

You know it was just a film, a piece of entertainment, You know the actors, the careers they had before and after . The internet is your ally in the sensible view that it was just a film, this is not, cannot be real.

And still you feel a chill, still you are reluctant to get up, logic now asking why should you, its all make believe, how foolish would you be, how old are you to believe such things.?

And then you hear it again.

As a child you would pull the covers up tight over your ears, as if a blanket were the ultimate protection. Hide your head in the pillow, and wait for it to stop.

But now you are no longer a child, you have a child, so you find yourself leaving your bed, not waking your partner, and you tread carefully out of your room and stand ear pressed against you son’s bed room door.

Now it is silent, and you feel terror at that lack of sound. Your hand turns the door handle, cold, metallic to the touch and you gently push open the door.

The curtains are closed, of course, and as you make your way over to the window you freeze and mouth a silent cry of agony as your feet find the lego, strewn like caltrops across the floor, from a tidying up never completed. For a moment you forget the fear, as it is wiped away by the pain in your foot.

And then you see the curtain ripple softly in the wind.  You quickly glance into the bed and see he is still fast asleep, knees up , arms flung about yet face relaxed, as only children can achieve. You wait for what seems like forever to hear a sound of breathing, to know that he is alright.

You turn back to the window, and its moving curtain, evidence that a window you are sure was closed is now open.  Again logic intrudes and you feel foolish stood there, staring at a flapping curtain.

You smile a liar’s smile to yourself and almost turn to go, to return to bed, and leave this foolishness behind. You heard something , you checked on your son, and now can go back to sleep, duty done, for the rest of the night.

The rest of the night.

That’s what gives you pause. Are you going to leave him for the rest of the night, window open.

You have to know, you have to make that step from logic to belief. There is no logical reason to open the curtain and close that window tight and locked this time.

There is no need to do that, as it would acknowledge such foolish thoughts, allow them power.

But you have known nights like this as a child. Racing from the light switch by the door to the bed by the window, jumping in before something white and dead clutches your ankles. And when you are allowed a nightlight, never using it, as it is better to lie in the dark afraid, than to reach out your hand to switch the light on, only to find other, colder fingers  grasp it.

So you swallow logic and fear and pull back the curtains.

And nothing is there.

You quickly close the window, feel along the inner sill and find the key. Lock it tight and close the curtains without looking too carefully outside.

   You navigate the lego and leave quietly, closing the door gently behind you.

Back in your own bed, you pull the duvet up to your neck and hunker down and try to sleep.

Sometimes it just needs belief to combat the things that scratch in the night. Just belief that they exist.  

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June 28th, 2012

11:18 pm - celebrating absent friends
Impromptu drinking party on FB, to run parallel with one in a field near Banbury, was the best and most appropriate celebration of D this evening...
thanks Katie

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August 13th, 2011

08:58 pm - firefly meets art nouveau
had to spread the word...can't stop the signal especially when they are so gorram shiny


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July 4th, 2011

01:39 pm - NSFW but i liked it Visit Scotland
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful

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June 7th, 2011

11:54 pm - Theatre company PunchDrunk running immersive Dr who for children

how cool..I loved their Masque of the Red Death

alas the family ticket is the only way for grown ups to go..max 1 per child

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October 2nd, 2010

02:13 pm - for those in the area
Oxfam in Beeston is about to recieve "a lot" of comics and dvds, Some singles issues, some graphic novels and a bunch of sets
also CSI dvd box sets
clearing out a bit today

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July 30th, 2010

09:33 am - WIDATW and why it was more fun than before
So, last weekend I went and lrped for the first time this year, and was far more fun than i imagined it would be. ( and thank you to Sarah and Mogs for gently persuasion and encouragement to attend)

Now I have been trying to think why, why was it different..more fun that the last two games, where there were moments of fun, but an overall feeling of it not being worth the effort put in.

Now this may well be very self-indulgent..but tis my blog (smile) and I am genuninely surpised how I went from never really wanting to play again ( 3 weeks before the event) to being so refreshed and enthused by it all after the event

my thoughts..

1) A new group...well adoption by a new group. I previously had 2 games as this character with a small but perfectly formed group, and was lucky enough to see its leader completely wrong-foot overly confident humans with the power of " throne slouchage" But that group ended as these things do, and I think i was just a little unfocussed for a while. Plus this new group is smashing and complicated and puzzling, but most of all very welcoming and make the finest elderflower booze I have ever tasted. So thats re-enthused me.

2)Facial expressions. I had a stunning mask as the character before..big bronze lion mask, that never made it onto any photos...ever ( well one) Now i get to show my ugly visage to all and sundary, and goodness i am enjoying interactions more.
Now thats not to say I had no interactions with the mask on. The previous group and I got very tipsy celebrating in ..i think it was Bitter Moon's tea house and few seasons back..much hilarity had by all.. But this time it just felt easier..

(although it will be back cos i luvs it..and indeed there have requests to see it back)

And i got involved in people plot. Not just PLOT...but plot, that meant a great deal to perhaps half a dozen people at most. Which i liked...and again big thanks to the people nice enough top involve me in that.

3) Re-evaluate what i wanted. Realising it wasn't the game that had changed so was no longer fun, it was how i was playing it. As may be apparent i play an Eidolon, and for a while was playing the wrong game, for me. I now have found the game i like, the way to play it, and its just so much more rewarding. I guess i forgot that there is more than 1 way to play the eidolon game, and was shown that this event by a number of players.

So i think meeting new people, and realising you play the game for yourself, not to win, but to enjoy the ride, has just made weekends in fields much more fun.

Is it perfect, no.
I am still not quite in the role all the time, so am quiet when i really feel the character should speak out..but thats a confidnece thing..and its a hundred times better that it was. And he is quiet/noisy kinda chap so its not too much not the character.

so self -indulgent..but you if interacted with me last weekend..ta very muchly..and see you soon
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: all the strange strange creatures

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July 21st, 2010

11:12 am - having another go
Thanks to gentle poking etc I will actaully be playing at a Maelstrom this year..and even more unlikely I will actually be purchasing new costume kit at Mael III

So with it being a bit last minute I wondered if people have reccomedations amongst traders.. Think freibodie-chic

Obviously i will be wandering round with Sarah to advise...but any good traders for me to peruse online before hand would be cool

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June 15th, 2010

11:08 am - what i am doing this week

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